Purposeful Gift-Giving
By Kevin Gibbons
What do you want when you give a gift?
Sometimes people want to knock the socks off of the recipient and completely amaze them.
Sometimes they want to see the look of joy when the recipient sees a gift that truly shows you understand them and their wants.
Sometimes, admittedly, you just want to check a name off your list and move on.
When doing your holiday gift shopping, take a moment to consider your goal. Here are some Savvy tips for holiday shopping. These aren’t so much as “where to get the good deals,” as what to keep in mind and what pitfalls to avoid so you can enjoy the season and sidestep some of the common frustrations.
Set your Spending Plan and stick to it!
This can be difficult, but you really have to do that. Determine how much money you have to spend and then make the list of who you are buying for. You may have to make some decisions on purchases, so having that limit and plan firmly in place in your mind will help you make those decisions.
Understand why you are giving a person a present.
To be honest, many of us have a list of people we want to buy presents for and another list of people we have to buy presents for. While we may often have to make accommodations for keeping family, friend and workplace peace, it helps to be clear in your mind what your goal is for each recipient. That can help with your spending allocations.
Don’t get caught up in the “Equality Trap!”
The Equality Trap is where you buy one person a gift and then feel you have to buy another person (or everyone) gifts of the same monetary value. You should be giving presents that will please the recipient, not balance some accountant’s ledger. If my father likes expensive brandy and my mother likes homemade jam, I shouldn’t feel guilty about giving each of them what they will enjoy.
This trap is especially dangerous as you get closer to your gift exchange. People can find themselves buying anything in a panic to make the scales balance. You can end up giving gifts that really won’t please the recipients and will cause you to feel resentment because you spent “good money on them.”
Instead, focus on giving a gift the recipient will enjoy and appreciate.
Be careful when buying for “experts.”
Many of my friends collect special things, certain antiques, swords, comic books, music, plants, you name it. Unless I know specifically what they want, I usually don’t give them presents that are in their specialty. It’s too easy to buy the wrong thing. And while there is a good deal of truth to the axiom “It’s the thought that counts,” burdening someone with clutter that does not fit their collection does no one any favors.
Instead, ask them specifically what item they want.
Give the experience
For many years, my friends and I would struggle looking for the “perfect gift” for each of us during the holidays. With a circle that quickly grew past 15, this became both an emotional and financial burden. After several years, we all decided that what we really treasured was not the material things but the opportunity to be together. We decided to forego gift exchanges for the holidays and put the money we would have spent towards renting vacation homes, usually over the long Presidents’ Day weekend, where we could enjoy each other’s company. We have been doing that for more than 20 years now. It is by far the best present we can give each other.
A recurring theme of Savvy Living is “being purposeful.” As the holiday season starts in earnest and you dive into the gift-giving experience, Stop. Breathe. Think about what you want to accomplish with each gift. You will make better choices. Your friends and family will appreciate your gifts more. And you will enjoy the experience more.
Kevin Gibbons is a Cash Flow Planning Expert, the Vice President of The Savvy Life and co-author of the international bestseller Living The Savvy Life. For the past eight years, Kevin and Savvy Life Founder Melissa Tosetti have worked with over 625 individuals and families to create Spending Plans.
To learn about how Kevin and Melissa work with clients to create Spending Plans, visit The Savvy Life’s Home Page. If you’d like to learn about how they work with financial advisors and their clients visit: The Savvy Life Advisor’s Page
